“My biggest fear was having my baby taken away.”
Thanks to support from Aberlour and South Ayrshire Council my baby, Marcus, wasn’t taken into care. He is thriving and I am so proud of him.
At 18 years old and 30 weeks pregnant I was first introduced to Lidia. Lidia was my social worker from South Ayrshire Council. My midwife raised concerns about my partner Justin and my housing conditions. We needed a bit of help to bring our baby home.
After Marcus was born, I took ill. I had to have a blood transfusion. This meant I struggled to look after Marcus. I kept collapsing. One midwife told me not to pick him up in case I collapsed while holding him. This wasn’t passed on to another midwife who reported me for neglect. With social work already involved, questions over my bond with Marcus and my post-natal depression, Marcus was placed on the child protection register.
I felt overwhelmed and anxious. I am a young, first-time mum. I didn’t know what to do. My biggest fear was having my baby taken away.
But that’s when Aberlour and Social Work stepped in to help. My Aberlour worker, Fleur, and Lidia helped explain to me why Marcus was on the child protection register. They explained that there was a plan in place to help and what the plan was. When I understood that, I felt comforted. I knew they were there to help. I realised they’re not going to take Marcus away. The main goal was to keep him with me.
There were lots of people supporting us, most days we had someone in the house. Fleur helped to teach me about bonding with Marcus. I struggled with our bond. Fleur took me through childcare courses. She taught me how to make up bottles and told us about baby led weaning when it was relevant for him. I had to deal with so many healthcare professionals. Fleur helped to sum everything up so I could understand what was going on and what I needed to do. Ultimately Fleur helped me become a better and more confident parent.
Lidia was the backbone of our support. She created and organised our support plan. She made sure everything was going as it needed to.
It was so important for Aberlour and Social Work to work closely together to support us. It meant that everyone came to the house when planned, there was no clashing. Lidia and Fleur supported us so we could have one day as a family with no one coming to the house. A day for me, Justin and Marcus. We were helped to be a family and the bond that we have is so important. Marcus enjoys being with me and he is thriving.
Thanks to all the support we had, one year after Marcus was placed on the child protection register, he was removed. I was so relieved. But it was also nerve-wracking. I was concerned that all my support was going to disappear. But then I realised that all the support wasn’t going to disappear, I’ve still got people to help me. The support was gradually reduced until it was no longer needed. I’m so proud of how far Marcus has come, from a tiny little baby to a toddler now running around the place. I’m proud of myself and my confidence in being a parent.
Recently I was able to share my story at an event for agencies like councils and health boards. It was important to me to share my story. I want to stop the stigma that Social Work are only there to take your children away. I wanted to share my story that with the right support, from the right people there is light at the end of the tunnel.
I am glad we had this support at the start of our journey so that I could learn from the beginning and not a few years down the line.
I am excited about the future for our family. We are staying in temporary accommodation right now. But I hope we will get our own forever home soon and I can decorate Marcus’ room with cars like he has asked for.
Bronwyn