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Fostering Podcast: Meet our fostering team, Kerryanne & Grace

Originally recorded Q1: 2023 with Central FM – The Forth Valley’s Local Radio Station.

Introducing Kerryanne and Grace

Liam

Welcome to another Central FM podcast in association with Aberlour, the children’s charity. We are focusing on fostering in the very latest edition of the podcast. Really delighted to welcome a couple of members of the Aberlour team. We’ve heard so much from some amazing fostering families so far, but this is going to be a nice, little different view from people who are actually right at the frontline and helping these services continue, develop and get better. Kerryanne and Grace both joining us in the studio. Kerryanne, I’ll start with you first as a service manager. Welcome along to Central FM today. Tell us a wee bit about yourself and what you do at Aberlour.

 

Kerryanne

Thanks Liam. I’m the service manager for our fostering team and I’ve worked for Aberlour for 19 years. For me, the priority in my job is to ensure that all of our foster carers are well supported by our team, and we have foster carers all over Scotland. We’ve got carers up north, carers down in the borders and anything in between, and it’s ensuring that we offer a bespoke and specialist fostering support to those and a high-quality service to all.

My other role is obviously supporting our team, and we’ve got five team members, all of are very experienced foster and social workers. We also have a background, a lot of our team, in residential childcare as well. So we’ve got a real insight into the children’s trauma and life experiences.

 

Liam

Grace, you are part of a team and you’re a social worker as well. How does your day-to-day look at Aberlour? You must be, I’m sure, really delighted to be involved in the charity.

 

Grace

Yes. I’m Grace, and I’ve worked for Aberlour for over 20 years, and as Kerryanne said, we’ve worked in a variety of roles within Aberlour itself. My role is to support the foster carers. I become their supervisor and social worker. From the very start, what we do is we go out and meet them. If they want to come forward, we do a specialised assessment which is called “the Form F”, and that can take anything from three to six months to complete. Then once re  approved, we then become their social worker, and we support them all the way through their journey, basically on a 1 to 1 basis.

 

Liam

So you get to know them really, really well.

 

Grace

Yes. We get to know them really well through the assessment process. Which is, I suppose some people call it, “like a roller coaster of emotions”. Some people call it “like a counselling session”. So, it does become quite an intrusive session, but everybody enjoys it. We make it enjoyable. And what we look for in our foster carers is lots of fun. They have to be fun-orientated people.

 

Aberlour’s pride in their matching process

Liam

You talk about the challenging entry experience, but that’s the really important bit because that makes the fostering journey and the matching process so much easier. It gives it much more longevity and makes sure that those families are actually together as long as possible.

 

Grace

Definitely, because we find what their likes are, what their dislikes are. If they’ve got pets, if they’ve got children, what their children like. That’s when our family worker comes in on its own. Gill very much works with their biological children. So, we find out what they like because that’s really important when we do come to the matching process, and we don’t just pick a child because they’ve got a vacancy to fit into their family. It’s about everyone fitting in together.

 

Liam

So Kerryanne. For example, if I was trying to get myself and the family involved in foster caring and say, you thought I wasn’t particularly suitable for one particular child or children. It doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t be suitable for everyone.

 

Kerryanne

I think what we do at Aberlour is really pride ourselves in the match. So as Grace says, we don’t have to specifically match a child because a foster carer has a vacancy. It’s very much based on the individual child’s needs, who are waiting for a family and also that family’s needs themself.

So yeah. So as you’re asking me, if one child wasn’t a match for you, we would certainly work really hard to ensure that we find that match for the child that’s waiting and for your family as well.

 

Liam

You do pride yourself on those longer-term relationships. Whilst I know that Aberlour does offer those short-term stays as well, what you really want to try and do is to just find those long-term families for those children.

 

Kerryanne

I think what we are blessed with at Aberlour Fostering is that we’ve got some families long term that have been with us. We’ve got one child in particular that I can think of who been with us since he was three, and he’s now 16. We’ve all known him in that time frame, and I think that’s what makes us special and unique. We’ve had children with us for so long, and it is like a family. It’s not just the service.

We really pride ourselves in making sure that everybody feels that they’re good and they’re feeling like a wider part of a family. The support that we offer it’s very bespoke, it’s very natural. And we want our foster carers to feel that way. We don’t want to interfere in their life. We want to add

 

The type of support Aberlour provides to foster families

Liam

Grace, what kind of support do you, on a typical day, provide to foster families?

 

Grace

All our social workers and service managers provide 24/7 support. All foster carers get an on-call sheet every month, and we all take our rota. We’re all on a rota. So we’re there, just if there’s even someone to talk to, they’re not just phoning someone in a call centre. They’re phoning one of us. All the foster carers and all the team as well, we go out our way to have activity days, team days, and visits where we’re meeting all the foster carers so that they know us.

 

Liam

How many families at any one time could you potentially be in touch with?

 

Grace

10 – 12, but I could also be in touch with the whole group of them, depending. If I just want to pass over a certain message, I would just phone them all up individually. The same with Kerryanne, the same with any member of our team. Now I’ve got my own group of foster carers that I look after.

That’s not just for me. We look after everyone. That’s where we do the relationship model, where we look after everyone because everyone knows us. I might be on call, but it might not be one of my foster carers, but they know they can phone me and they can have a chat.

I think that’s what makes us different from a local authority because they phone a call centre, whereas they’re phoning one of the team.

 

Liam

And then, obviously, you build up that relationship and know their needs and wants and sometimes the triggers or the things that you might have to step in and help out with.

 

Grace

Yes. Our foster carers, prior to coming on board, would do a specialised training which every fostering service does, which is Skills to Foster. I’m the main facilitator in that. So, one of the groups will help me, and that gives them an insight into fostering before they even start their journey. Quite a lot of people might say, “You know what, fostering it’s not for us”, or “Yes! I really want to go forward”.

 

Liam

So that’s perfect. If you’re keen, on that 50/50 fence, you’re not really sure what to do. You could still sign up to do Skills to Foster and go right through that journey. Then you’ll know, by the end of that, if it’s really something you want to take forward.

 

Grace

Yes. However, at the end of that journey, we can also say that we don’t think that fostering is really for you at this moment in time. Maybe you need to take a step back and maybe get some more experience in working with children because some foster carers come with no experience whatsoever of even child development.

So what can you do? Can you volunteer at Brownies? We’ve done that before. One of our foster carers went to be a school dinner lady so that she could get that experience of working with young children. So, we’re not saying “no”, we’re saying “take a step back, think about it, maybe get some experience and come back in three to six months’ time”.

 

What Aberlour looks for in potential foster carers

Liam

I want to try to get back to that “F” word you used.

 

Grace

The sweary word

 

Liam

No, not as much as we can be tempted sometimes. We are always very professional at Central FM, as you know. [Laughs]

However, the “F” word you used was “fun”. I want to try and explore that a little bit because we all love having a bit of fun, and there are so many of the kids out there who need this help. Who just don’t get to experience enough of it. What kind of things are you always on the look for when the foster family comes forward?

 

Grace

Well, one thing that we can do is through the Skills to Foster, as well, is we play games. And it’s like fun games. Half the time, I make them up, and it’s just to see if they’ll actually join in because it’s really interesting to watch people really come out of their comfort zone. That’s what we’ll ask them to do.

 

Liam

I just want to try and paint this picture. What kind of games are we talking? Twister levels, or is it Scrabble, or is it team building?

 

Grace

No, it’s like team building activities plus as well, it can be silly games as well. Silly games, it’s like, “Come on, I’ll, I’ll show you what to do, stand up, sit down”. Or there’s, like, you go in a circle, somebody says, “Well, I don’t like this. Who else?” And then they change spaces, all this team building and fun games that you do as a team probably.

 

Kerryanne

I guess we’re putting people out their comfort zone because they will be as foster carers. The child who is coming to live with them will be out their comfort zone as well. We’re keen on trying to see how people adapt and cope. The fun element beside that is because we’re such a small team and know each other really well. Again, we pride ourselves on having that fun not only as a team but with our foster carers and, more importantly, the children alongside the foster carers and the birth children.

 

Supporting families, birth children and fostering togetherness

Liam

Because they are important. We have talked to foster families so far in our podcast series about the birth children who may be in these homes as well, who get cared for just as well as the foster kids do because they’re very important. What’s your experience and your side of that because we’ve heard ’s side , but what that involves from your side in terms of making those biological children who may be part of the house feel part of the fostering family?

 

Kerryanne

I actually did a report, almost like a dissertation, I guess, into the experience of birth children in a local authority and our birth children within Aberlour fostering. And really, what came back is that Gill’s role as a family worker is key to the success of a child remaining in a family, and that really evidenced that children felt like having that own worker.

Having Gill, having someone to speak to. And take Grace, for example. When she visits a family, she’s there for the parents, the foster carers and the kids really, really felt that they were valued and they were still part of the family. They could experience having a chat with Gill, or Gill taking them for tea or going bowling and or whatever it was that the child wanted to do.

Also, what we do is that Gill and Grace and other members of the team all organise fun activities specifically for the birth children. Sometimes it’s events where the birth children and foster children are together. Sometimes it’s two different events. It’s important to recognise that, like the carers have their carers group, the birth children have experience of their wee group as well. They’ve got, I suppose, like-minded, they’re maybe going through something similar that they can’t speak to an adult about. So, they’ve got the children that they can share with. And that’s been really successful. I think that’s been really lovely.

 

Grace

Our activities, people come along with the birth children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, and friends that are all invited, and everybody just becomes one big happy group. Now, you don’t know who’s fostered, who’s not. So that’s good as well.

 

Kerryanne

I think an example of that was our last Christmas party. You had a young lad that brought his girlfriend along to the Christmas party. You’ve got other young people that brought their friends along. Team members bring their own family along. What we wanted was to create a culture where everybody’s in it as one.

It goes back to what I said earlier about it being a family. It was very much a family feel. It wasn’t about being part of Aberlour per se, but it was about being under the Aberlour umbrella, but actually just in it together and just being a family together rather than be fostered and or not fostered.

 

Liam

I know that’s a really important thing for the charity to get, to harness those feelings. How does it compare to any other roles you’ve had previously working for Aberlour? Have you had anything to compare it to in terms of those? Just try to capture them in nice family moments.

 

Grace

Well, we’re both ex-residential workers for Aberlour. We’ve worked in the children’s homes as well, and I think we just created that fun there as well because we would do events for the children and take them out to the park. We both went on holiday with the children and stayed in caravans.

We’ve always had the fun element within Aberlour itself, and we’ve just carried on to the fostering, so it comes easy.

 

Kerryanne

I think an important message for me has always been that I remember when I first started, I was told that once you’re part of Aberlour, you’re always part of Aberlour. That’s true for the staff. Obviously, Grace and I have been there for a long time. But more importantly, it’s there for our children, young people. We’ve got relationships with children and fostering and residential that have left.

One girl springs to mind. She left ten years ago. She’s now going to be 25. And we’re still we’re still in touch with her. She was at our Christmas party just past. So that’s really important for us. It’s something, again, to be really proud of is that we’ve fulfilled our promise to the kids and we’ve maintained a level of contact with them. They actually describe us as a family, which again is what we what we strive for because they’re a part of ours.

 

Grace

Myself and Gill, we visit a young lad who was in residential, then fostering, and now is out on his own. He’s 27 now, and we still meet him for dinner, and he phones sometimes or texts when he’s maybe needing a bit more extra help. So, we were able to provide that as well through Aberlour.

 

More ways Aberlour support foster families financially and in general

Liam

One of the things we’ve discussed on other podcasts, and if you’ve not heard them yet, you can go and listen to some of your actual live foster families who are doing this amazing work at the moment. You can hear their take on this. One of the big questions, as I know this is quite important for you guys to get across as well, is that financial support that Aberlour provides when it comes to maybe making those decisions to give up a career or looking at childcare arrangements within your own household.

Maybe you’re looking to change your work-life balance. As many people have been over the last couple of years, given everything the world has been through. How does that financial support work? Is it means tested in any way, and without going into too much detail, is it enough for someone to actually choose a career to replace a big income with, you could actually do that as your day-to-day?

 

Kerryanne

Yeah. If anyone had any questions regarding our fees and allowances, they’re quite clearly on our website. So I direct any potential carer to our website.

Just to explain a fee, as our fee is your like your salary for caring for the child. Then you have a maintenance allowance, which is a child maintenance allowance. So, anything that covers household, clothing, food, shelter, everything like that is covered within there. I would say it’s quite a substantial figure, and hopefully, it feels that would cover all costs in terms of for the child that’s moving in. And also for the carer for their fee, we also do a start-up cost as well. Specific to each family, there’s an allowance to set out for things. For example, a bed or cupboard or anything that child would need, a TV, etc. And again, we’re a bespoke service. We are open to foster carers coming to us and letting us know if there’s anything specific to a child’s needs that they would need. We would review that and fund where we can.

 

Grace

What we’ve got to do, I suppose, is inform our foster carers that they are self-employed. I think that’s a big thing for them as well because they are leaving a job. Although we do sort of say if you can take a career break, take out a career break for six months to a year. Because then, if it’s not for them, they can always go back. That’s really important to see if they can manage to do that as well.

 

Kerryanne

I think we really understand that just now, over the cost of living crisis, that that’s a real challenge for people and might deter people from applying to foster. What we’d say is, really, direct you to the website and have a look at the figures and you would be able to answer those questions for yourself.

But equally, there’s a potential that once a child is settled, we do have foster carers at work after a period of time. So you could foster and also maybe work part-time or whatever fits in with the child’s life as well.

 

Liam

Yeah, if you listen to our podcast with David and Jacqui. Jacqui’s certainly one who’s just went back to work part-time again. You can see that on our website as well if you want to hear a bit more about how that works and the story there.

There are so many options. I think one of the real key things as well. If people think, “Well, if I’ve got a kid”, it’s a full-time job, albeit self-employed, as you explained there. But maybe that’s just more of the nuances, the financial side of it. But it’s still a full-time thing, essentially. But you do get a break because you’ve got all those amazing members of the team who are standing by, so foster carers get that wee break they need as well.

 

Kerryanne

I would also encourage people to ask about fees and allowances and not feel, I know that people feeling quite shy or a challenge about that or feeling that they shouldn’t ask. But I do feel that is something that carers or potential carers have a right to know what they should be getting paid for caring for a child.

 

Liam

No one is going to judge you if you ask questions because they are very key questions to ask. It’s going to have an effect on your household budgets and everything like that.

For you guys, do you guys see yourself working at Aberlour forever the way it stands? Without putting any pressure on you in case your bosses are listening. But everybody I’ve met so far seems to really enjoy their job, as one of the things I would take away from the series so far.

 

Grace

I think if we didn’t enjoy it, we would have moved a long time ago. I mean Aberlour as a whole. I’ve been in different roles in Aberlour. I’ve been a relief worker right at the start, then I’ve been a residential worker, then I’ve been a social worker, and it’s been through Aberlour that I’ve become a social worker because they put me through university. That’s why I’ve got the role I’ve got today. I mean, I’m a lot older than Kerryanne, so I’ve only got two years and ten months to go. So I can’t see myself moving on.

 

Liam

So that’s why she’s so happy today. I thought it was Central FM teas and coffees, but actually, the countdown is on. [Laughs]

 

Grace

I think if I wasn’t happy in my role, even in my different roles, I would have moved a long time ago. It’s not just the team around me. I think it’s been working with the children and young people because we’re still in touch with a lot of them that we worked with when they were six years old. And now, I mean, I went to one of their weddings. It’s that relationship that we have with them, that doesn’t go away and some have moved on, but some have sort of clung to you as if “I want to keep in touch”.

 

Liam

There’s just a definite air of positivity in everything we’ve been doing so far. I think that’s kind of what you really want to translate into the foster carers that you take on board. You want them to come on that same way and feel the same way as you guys feel.

 

Grace

Yeah. Our goal is long-term permanent foster carers for the children. The children have been there six, eight, ten, twelve years. We’ve got children or young people, I should say, who are still with the families but not in foster care. They live there. That’s their home. They’re now 23. So that is their home for until they move on to their own place. Some of them, I don’t see that ever happening. However, they’re still there. And the family, they are their son or, the sister, or a brother, that’s where they are.

 

Liam

The crucial thing is you guys are there to help them get to that point. Even in the worst cases, if it has broken down and doesn’t work again, you’re there to help in those scenarios as well.

 

Grace

We’re there to support foster carers because it’s devastating for them when that placement breaks down, and the child has to move on. Because they love the child, but for whatever reason, the child can’t stay there and has to move on. It’s devastating. And it’s for us to pick them up so that they don’t give up and they’re able to move on.

 

Kerryanne

And I think it’s devastating for us as a team when it doesn’t work because we do care. We put a lot and take a lot of pride into our job, and it is like a family. When someone leaves that family, it’s upsetting for everyone. But our job is to support our foster carers through that and obviously the child that is moving on and do the best that we can.

 

Final note on who we are looking for in foster carers and what makes Aberlour unique

Liam

I just want to round off the chat, really just to kind of recap again on the matching side of things at that very start of the fostering journey. I was going to ask if you could between you come up with five of your most important things that you look for in a fostering family when they come forward. Take your time. Just even five key elements. You’re looking for fun, we’ve covered so that’s one.

 

Grace

I suppose it’s a motivation as well because everybody has a different motivation of why they’re coming forward. Whether it’s through their own personal journey or they’ve read an article. Some of them come through because they’re having a complete career break. We’ve had some who have lost their jobs and then re-evaluate. “What can we do? You know what I’ve always fancied? Fostering. This is the ideal opportunity.” So they come from all different reasons.

 

Liam

And what else are you looking for, Kerryanne, in a foster family normally?

 

Kerryanne

I would say that again. Maybe what makes us different to other agencies is that we keep an open mind. We’ve had foster carers that have come on board to us, have maybe been refused elsewhere because they’re maybe like a single carer or have no child care experience. But we’ve really explored other ways to help and support prior to the assessment stages.

I guess, for me, it’s as a team, keeping that open mind when someone’s coming forward and having the ideas that what that person’s got to offer based on them, not necessarily just because they’re in a relationship, or because of the work that they do. I think everybody’s got something to offer a child.

 

Liam

So that’s a good question to ask then because you’re basically saying to me, “Actually, we don’t actually work like that so much. We’re very open-minded. So, if you’re not sure, just try and ask us and go through the process”. If you think you really want to do this, you guys will try to make it happen as best you possibly can.

 

Kerryanne

Definitely, I think it’s understanding that it’s not the easiest of tasks to do. It’s going to be a hard road ahead. However, You have a team of people that’s very experienced around you that genuinely cares and wants to support you through that process as best as we can. What I would say as well about our service is that short breaks necessarily have to be with a carer as well.

We offer different kinds of breaks. We’ve got children attending team ranch, we’ve got to do different activity based. It goes back to being unique and bespoke in terms of fitting alongside what’s best for the child and what’s going to work for that family. So again, it goes back to what I said earlier about discussing that with your worker and putting your views across what’s best for your child.

 

Grace

Yeah, we’ve got one child up north, and they go to horse riding for their short break. It gives foster carers three to four hours to themselves while she’s away to horse riding, and we pay for that. As Kerryanne said, there’s different ways. It’s not about short breaks going to somebody’s house. It’s about activities as well that they can get involved in.

 

Liam

Yeah, that fun factor that you’ve mentioned so many times, I feel like, guys, we can actually get through another podcast where we just have a laugh and talk about loads of other things because you guys have been quite good fun.

 

Grace

We’ve been around the houses.

[Laughs]

 

Liam

No, no, I just mean in general. I can tell you’ve enjoyed being on here. There’s maybe a wee comedy duo slot in Central FM at some point in the future for both Kerryanne and Grace, social worker and Kerryanne, of course, the service manager at Aberlour. It’s been a real pleasure having you guys in here today. And I hope the tea and coffee was a very high standard.

 

Kerryanne

It was, thank you.

 

Liam

You’re welcome back anytime.